Purpose #
Effective coaching does not begin when the student arrives — it begins in the preparation before. Research from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) identifies “establishing the coaching agreement” and “active listening” as two of its eleven core competencies, both of which are only possible when the coach has done the groundwork beforehand (ICF, 2019). Preparation allows you to show up fully present, properly focused, and genuinely useful — rather than reconstructing context from memory mid-session.
When to Use This #
Use this protocol before every 1-on-1 session — whether it’s an intake meeting, a regular check-in, or a milestone review. The investment is typically 10–15 minutes. For students at a critical juncture (major decision, setback, or transition), allow 20–30 minutes.
Step-by-Step Instructions #
Step 1 — Review Your Notes from the Last Session #
Read your session notes from the previous meeting. What did the student commit to? What emotion were they sitting with at the end? What did you observe but perhaps not address? Nancy Kline’s work on “Thinking Environments” notes that people think best when they feel genuinely listened to and remembered — your recall of specifics signals to the student that what they said mattered (Kline, 1999).
Step 2 — Check the Status of Commitments #
Note what the student agreed to do between sessions. Don’t prepare to quiz them — prepare to be curious. Research on accountability in coaching (Ives, 2008) shows that the act of a coach anticipating follow-up significantly increases student follow-through, even before the question is asked. Have one clear question ready: “How did [the commitment] go?”
Step 3 — Identify the Likely Focus Area #
Based on where the student was last session, what is most likely to be on their mind today? You’re not scripting the session — you’re orienting yourself. David Rock’s SCARF model (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness) offers a useful lens: which of these dimensions was most activated last time? That often predicts where the student’s attention will go today (Rock, 2008).
Step 4 — Prepare Your Opening Question #
Write one open question to begin the session. Not several — one. Michael Bungay Stanier’s research-backed “Kickstart Question” is: “What’s on your mind?” It is deliberately broad, puts the agenda in the student’s hands, and signals that there is no predetermined destination (Bungay Stanier, 2016). Prepare this or a variant that fits the student’s current situation.
Step 5 — Clear Your Own Mental Space #
Take 2–3 minutes before the session to settle. Close unrelated tabs, silence notifications, and take a few slow breaths. Research on “presence” in coaching (Silsbee, 2008) argues that a coach’s internal state directly affects the quality of listening and the depth of the questions they ask. You cannot be fully present to someone else while mentally elsewhere.
Step 6 — Set Up the Environment #
For video sessions: camera at eye level, background uncluttered, good lighting on your face. For in-person: arrive first, reduce ambient noise, have water available. These details matter because environmental signals affect the psychological safety of the session. Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows that physical and relational cues — including whether someone feels unhurried and attended to — directly influence how openly people share (Edmondson, 1999).
Best Practices #
- Keep a running notes document per student. Date each entry. Note the student’s exact words, not your interpretation. Over time, patterns emerge that a coach without notes will miss entirely.
- Prepare questions, not answers. Your job in the session is to think alongside the student, not to arrive with solutions. The preparation should sharpen your curiosity, not your advice.
- Re-read any goals or focus areas the student has stated. Bring these into the session when relevant — students often forget what they said they wanted and need a coach to reflect it back.
- Flag anything unresolved from the last session. If something felt incomplete or unaddressed, note it. You may not raise it — but being aware gives you options.
Common Mistakes #
- Reviewing notes while on the call. This signals you haven’t prepared and breaks presence. Read your notes before the session, not during it.
- Preparing an agenda instead of a question. Coaches who arrive with a plan for where the session should go will miss where the student actually needs to go.
- Skipping preparation when sessions feel routine. Familiarity can breed inattention. The student who “always talks about the same thing” may be stuck in a pattern that only a well-prepared coach will notice and name.
- Not documenting after the session. Preparation for the next session starts immediately after this one. Write your notes while memory is fresh — key themes, commitments made, what you noticed but didn’t say.
Related Resources #
- Bungay Stanier, M. (2016). The Coaching Habit. Box of Crayons Press.
- Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.
- ICF. (2019). Updated ICF Core Competency Model. International Coaching Federation. coachingfederation.org
- Ives, Y. (2008). What is “coaching”? An exploration of conflicting paradigms. International Journal of Evidence Based Coaching and Mentoring, 6(2), 100–113.
- Kline, N. (1999). Time to Think: Listening to Ignite the Human Mind. Cassell.
- Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal, 1, 44–52.
- Silsbee, D. (2008). Presence-Based Coaching. Jossey-Bass.
